You are hereby served with a court summons for feloniously masquerading as a legally copyrighted fictional character and for maliciously impugning a trusted and much-beloved corporate symbol. The full and remorseless weight of American jurisprudence will be brought to bear upon your head until it is bowed in proper obeisance to the iron will of the capitalist oligarchy.

Cordially Yours,
Wm. Trenton Fitch, Attorney-at-Law